"What if all women were bigger and stronger than you? And thought they were smarter? What if women were the ones who started wars? What if too many of your friends had been raped by women wielding giant dildos and no K-Y Jelly? What if the state trooper who pulled you over on the New Jersey Turnpike was a woman and carried a gun? What if the ability to menstruate was the prerequisite for most high-paying jobs? What if your attractiveness to women depended on the size of your penis? What if every time women saw you they’d hoot and make jerking motions with their hands? What if women were always making jokes about how ugly penises are and how bad sperm tastes? What if you had to explain what’s wrong with your car to big sweaty women with greasy hands who stared at your crotch in a garage where you are surrounded by posters of naked men with hard-ons? What if men’s magazines featured cover photos of 14-year-old boys with socks tucked into the front of their jeans and articles like: “How to tell if your wife is unfaithful” or “What your doctor won’t tell you about your prostate” or “The truth about impotence”? What if the doctor who examined your prostate was a woman and called you “Honey”? What if you had to inhale your boss’ stale cigar breath as she insisted that sleeping with her was part of the job? What if you couldn’t get away because the company dress code required you wear shoes designed to keep you from running? And what if after all that women still wanted you to love them?"
Things to remember
- You don’t owe anything to the people who created you by smashing cells together.
- A bully is a bully and emotional mistreatment is abuse.
- Don’t let a dictionary definition of what “family” is guilt you.
- Love those who love you and are worthy of your love.
eating soup is like putting a warm hug inside my tummy and i love it
this is the only reason i actually like alcohol
next time you’re feeling like shit
remember the sloths
they don’t do anything ever
and they haven’t gone extinct
you can afford to take a nap
Is literally the most uplifting and comforting thing I’ve read all day
This Blood Lamp doesn’t look that bloody, but the way you turn it on can be considered gruesome. It only works once, and you need to add of a drop of your blood to activate it! The idea is to stop and think about how badly you need light before you use it. Designer Mike Thompson created the lamp in order to draw attention to how much energy we waste.
we can finally power the world with periods
there are two kinds of people
SOMEONE THOUGHT ABOUT YOU A LOT TODAY PROBABLY
that doesn’t mean they thought good things
Spongebob is my life…
He works out:
He has nice legs:
He loves food:
He has a silly best friend:
He has bad days:
But most days he is fancy:
He does his homeworking painfully slow:
Has an irrational fear of math:
He is a ray of sunshine even around grumpy people:
And he has style: